istanbul summer

on july 2nd i was kept in this country against my will.  apparently, i had not followed the proper visa violation routes and consequently was unable to leave turkey without paying a fine and serving a mandatory probation period of THREE MONTHS!!!!! during which time i would be unable to reenter turkey.  this seemed particularly unjust as, not the day before, i had spoken to the head of the visa issuing department in istanbul and been reassured that all that awaited me at the airport was a small fine.

LIES

so, sobbing in the airport in broken turkish, i pushed my flight back, retrieved my already checked baggage, threw myself into a taxi and begrudgingly grumbled my address. i refused to smile or laugh for a whole day after on principle.

DAY TWO

while watching tv on my computer (totally legal) and resentfully pondering what adventures i might be having in the US today, i happened upon an unwanted realization....i realized i should learn from this (i hate learning things from uncomfortable situations); that i should turn my frown upside down, stop watching modern family on repeat, take a shower and do all of things i've been too tired and lazy (mostly lazy) to do before like writing on my blog, painting, studying for the GREs etc...

so here is an update on istanbul in the summer.  it is hot. not hot like new england (where i grew up) in the summer hot; hot like an oven hot.  the city is old; it holds its age in the stone buildings and the glowing green glazes of mosques; in the water ways and the traffic and the street vendors.  but the sun bakes this old city, firing the stones and boiling the water and the heat sits on millions and holds the winds back. the heat births mosquitos and deep, dark scents, behaviors and glances and dirt and dirty words and restlessness. and there is no reprieve, the salty currents that surround the city are all spoiled.

despite this, istanbul is still beautiful and it is big and there is an ease that comes through the open windows and with the night as it crawls in over the city of seven hills.  and this summer, it birthed, once more, something beautiful: resistance.  I will not pretend that i participated in the protests in any way, nor will i claim that i had any right to, but i am proud to witness the strength of humans and their vigor and solidarity and love in the face of evil words and evil actions.  power is a hateful drug, one that has been widely misused, and here, in turkey, amongst burgeoning islamization and drowning democracy, actions were taken against it. those actions were brave and they were beautiful.

#direngezi

(yes, i went there)

(yes, its a hashtag, let it go)

(#sappyhash)